An Essay and Brief History of Swinging and Wife Swapping
By Richard Taylor
Updated May 17 2015 -- The origins of swinging (casual sex among couples) are sometimes debated, but one thing is quite clear. And that is the fact that swinging and wife swapping really began to take off after World War II.
This essay will attempt to answer some of the most common questions and curiosities about the swinger lifestyle. They are:
When did the swinger lifestyle become popular? How easy is it to meet other couples for wife swapping?
Where do we meet other swinger couples?
Is there usually intimacy among swinger couples on the first meeting?
Is it possible to attend clubs and swinger parties and just watch without participating? Most people are well aware that sex orgies go back at least as far as Roman times. Roman orgies have been well documented in literature and later in movies. The Greeks are also credited with these types of activities.
But what about the modern version of orgies, group sex, and wife swapping? Most people meet in personals and classifieds these days, as opposed to bars and clubs. There is every indication that swinging really began to take off with American military personnel in the late 1940's and early 1950's. More specifically, it was amongst U.S. pilots swapping wives amongst each other near Air Force bases. Some say the practice among American flyers actually started during World War II. With mortality rates high in their profession, these pilots adopted a "live life to the fullest" attitude and that led to swinging and wife swapping around the bases. Whatever its origins, millions of couples around the world now enjoy swinging, wife swapping and relationships with a cuckold husband who enjoys watching his wife having sex with other men and many times with other men and women. Gangbangs are very popular amongst couples with a cuckold husband. There are many places to meet swinger couples these days thanks to the popularity of the World Wide Web. Back in the day, couples interested in swinging had to either live in or travel to larger cities. There they could find clubs. It was also easier to simply meeting other men and women who were very open-minded in the bars an clubs. These days, couples of all ages and from towns both big and small are meeting online via personal ads for wife swapping.
Swinger personal ads and wife swap personals have become very popular online in the last 10 to 15 years. They are without a doubt the safest and easiest way to meet others. You simply join and begin checking out the other members. Your search can be conducted as close to you as looking in your own suburb. Many swingers do not like to wife swap so close to home, so they may look for couples in the next town over.
Those who wish to remain very discreet, meet couples for swinging that may live several states away. Some take it even farther than that and swing in other countries or even continents using global personals for wife swapping. So, let's say you've browsed the local swingers using classifieds online, made contact with a couple, and set a date. What should you expect to happen on that first swinger date?
That really depends on what you've discussed with the other couple prior to actually meeting eye-to-eye. On the other hand, you really never know how these types of "dates" or meetings will play out.
Some can be as casual as a dinner with plans being made to meet again. Others -- especially when alcohol is present -- can lead to a full-on swinging and wife swapping experience right there on the first night. You simply never know until you actually meet other wife swappers for the first time. It should always be made very clear upfront that this is a no strings attached sex arrangement. This goes a long way in building trust. There are many clubs where things are very casual and couples can simply watch others having sex or participate if they so choose. One of the more popular establishments like this for people from all walks of life is the Red Rooster in Las Vegas. You will have a pretty good idea of whether or not you want to stay almost as soon as you enter such clubs. The more inviting and successful clubs look like a normal party when you first walk in. There will be a bar area and a place for couples to lounge and get to know each other over drinks. Many clubs will also have a pool. Don't think for a minute that it's as tame as the casual area you see when you first enter! The real action is taking place in private rooms. At the above mention Red Rooster, those rooms are upstairs. That's where things get a little more wild and where the real fun begins. Entering that part of swinger club does not commit you and your partner to anything. Well, it shouldn't anyway. Go have a look! Watch others at play and then decide if you want to join in. It really is up to you and at no time should you feel any pressure. If you do and it makes you uncomfortable, simply leave the area and go back to the lounge to make other plans with a couple of your choosing. And yes, gays and lesbians also participate in swinging. They may be singles or gay and lesbian couples. Many can be found in online swinger ads, although singles are more likely to be found in local sex personals. The typical couple that gets into the adult dating lifestyle would be middle class and have a relationship that is around 7 years old on average. Things have typically become stale, but they have a great deal of trust in each other and their love. The decision to get into wife swapping is usually made once this is clearly established. Then they begin to browse the personals. Most partners choose to check out the clubs and do a little flirting with others. It is often the husband's fantasy to watch his wife with another man or woman. That's not a bad way to start and can usually be accomplished after a few cocktails at a swinger club.
Single women can be found in the scene and they come in all ages, shapes and sizes, including BBW and cougars. Cuckold husbands abound as well. These are guys who like to watch their partner get it on with other men -- sometimes in a gangbang situation. Their is a growing trend among cuckold husbands who want to watch their wife having sex with a black man or several black men at once.
Adult dating and group sex, a.k.a., wife swapping, never seems to slow down in cities like Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego. It kind of hit a fever pitch in those cities in the 1970's and has just continued to grow and grow to this day. You might say New York City was a little late to the party, but the swinging scene has grown by leaps and bounds in the Big Apple since the 1980s. Here is a video in which actual swinger couples discuss swinging and wife swapping.
People are far more practical in this day and age when it comes to sexuality. Monogamy is not a thing of the past, but many see it as restricting and quite dated. Many wife swapping swingers see no sense in being in a binding and restricted type of relationship. Insecurity and jealously goes out the window with swingers. There is just no room for it in their relationship. Some are beginning to refer to these types of relationships as "hotwifing." Hotwifing is a belief by husbands, cuckold or otherwise, that their wife is so hot that he should watch her have sex with other men.
One of the biggest concerns we hear from newbies about getting into the swinging and wife swapping scene is: "How safe is it?" This is a valid concern and we highly recommend avoiding sites like backpage.com and craigslist. The horror stories we have heard over the years would turn you off to ever exploring the swinger scene further. In fact, we have found that craigslist.com blocks several specific searches into adult dating and wife swapping. The latest research into this was conducted on March, 29, 2015. Whatever type of research you choose to do, it is probably best to start at google.com or swinger-personal-ads.net.
Soft swinging is where many people get their start. This usually happens in a liberal club or a private home where sexual acts take place between the partners involved, but there is no swapping or physical contact with others. Meaning it's just you and your partner getting it on in front of others as they also have sex with their partner. This can be quite a blast and sometimes things can loosen up pretty quickly. This is great source for finding others who are into soft swinging.
By now you might be thinking, "So what do some of these people look like?" Or "Can we find folks who are like us?" The truth is, you just never know until you get out there. But checking out these daily orgy pictures will give you a general idea of what to expect. If you want to get a little kinky or experiment with same sex encounters among bisexuals, they are very easy to find these days as well. Our best tip is to check out the gay and lesbian sex personals that are updated daily. They have been around for over 10 years and come highly recommended. This type of activity is becoming extremely popular in the sex personals in Chicago, Houston and Dallas.
So where do you start? Swinger personals are probably your best option unless you feel comfortable binging the subject of swinging and wife swapping up with you friends. While some people go this route -- some even approach relatives for sex -- it is usually best to make new swinger friends to get you and your partner started. This site's author, along with his wife, decided to get the ball rolling on a visit to Miami in 2006. We were told the best place to find swinger couples in Southern Florida was in the Miami swingers personals.
Things could not have worked out better! We met not one, but three couples in the area and we were hooked on swinging and wife swapping! Our sex life has never been better.
In an upcoming segment, we will cover hot black babes who are into swinging. As promised, we met "Vicki" and "Tanya" and spoke to them about what it's like to take part in swinging and wife swapping for black ladies. Vicki finds her no strings attached sex in Miami, while "Tanya" swings in her hometown of Seattle. Vicki tells us an ex-boyfriend got her into swapping back in 2003 and she has loved it ever since. In fact, she says she will not date a guy unless he is into cuckold husband situations with other couples. She is not surprised when most guys won't go for this, but she doesn't seem to care. You might say she is very dedicated to group sex. Tanya is a black and Asian mix who was born in Thailand during the Vietnam War to a Thai woman and an American soldier. It would be years before she made it to America and swinging with her mother in Thailand became a normal thing when she was a teen. When she hit the America shores -- landing in San Diego -- her activity in the swinger lifestyle hit full stride. At 21, her mom took her to a wife swap party and it was on that night she met her future husband. The rest is history. It was good to hear from Philadelphia swinger wife "Julia" who tells of her first wife swapping experience when she and her husband visited Las Vegas. What she was really up for was more than just swapping. She wanted a full on gang bang. She decided to check out the local Las Vegas sex personals and what she found was no shortage of men willing to take part in her fantasy.
"We actually needed to upgrade to a suite," she said with a laugh. "There were that many men who showed up to join in the gang bang." She went onto say that she has literally become addicted to the swinger lifestyle and taking on multiple men in a single session is the ultimate in sexual pleasure. "I know it is a sexual fantasy of many women, and those who don't give it a try are really missing out," she said. She will speak further in an upcoming essay answering questions like:
Where can I find men to gang bang my wife?
Why do women love a gang bang?
How can I talk my wife into group sex with other men? How do I tell my husband I want to be gang banged?
There was a time in the early 1970's that Washington sought to outlaw group sex and swinging. While most of the American population laughed at the very thought of the government telling couples that they couldn't wife swap, swinger clubs looked at the proposed legislation as a potential problem and a threat to their very existence. Clubs in cities like Atlanta, Boston and Phoenix, actually came up with a brilliant cover. They came up with the title "adult social club" and only allowed entry to swinger couples who held memberships to their clubs. Perhaps it was hasty, but swinger clubs in Detroit simply closed down out of fear. They wouldn't be the only ones. While the legislation was being debated, fear mongering began to spread in the metro areas of Tampa, St. Louis and Minneapolis, leading to more closures. This was the real birth of swinger personals and swinger personal ads. First it was in the classifieds sections of local newspapers and then it spread online. And that is where we are today. Swinger couples and wife swappers meeting online in the most convenient way -- chatting first. Then they gradually get to know each other.
This seems to work for almost everyone, but our research shows that it is particularly helpful for couples with a BBW wife or single BBW and cougars looking for sex. It seems that new apps are developed almost monthly for wife swap swingers to make contact. More recently very good apps have been introduced for areas like the Inland Empire of California, that includes the cities of Riverside, San Bernardino and Ontario.
The next best we have tested lately for swinger personal ads and sex personals have been introduced for wife swapping in Baltimore and Denver. We are keeping an eye out every day for that latest and the best performing sex apps to fit your needs.
We backtracked a pretty hot swinger party picture at guyplace.com and located the participants in a wife swap forum. While they were a little surprised to hear from us, they were very open and honest about their attitudes towards swinging and wife swapping.
The woman's name in the picture was Morgan. While being a young wife, she told us that she loved the lifestyle because she enjoyed gangbangs. In her mind, only group sex would do. She enjoyed multiple cocks at the same time. Her email went on to explain that she simply could not orgasm without feeling two penises rubbing against her inner walls and in addition, a cock in her mouth.
She went on to say that she would cum when multiple men penetrated her while black men shot cum in her ass and on her stomach. She told us how she is a Filipina who got into group sex in Angeles City, Philippines, and moved to Los Angeles and then to San Francisco. She was into sex at a very early age, she says, and knew she was born to share herself in wife swap situations with her husband in New Orleans and any man he chose. We have begun to hear from so many wife swappers in Los Angeles that we are thinking of dedicating and entire page for swingers in that city. If you believe you have something to share about adult dating in Southern California, please contact us. Equally, we are considering a similar section for lesbians looking for lovers, as we have received many enquiries on the subject. Your input in that area can be directed to the lesbian sex personals in San Francisco.
We received an interesting email today (4/19/15) from a guy in Memphis who calls himself a "Cuckold Husband in Tennessee" asking about a very common desire. Well, it's a common desire among cuckold husbands. He wants to watch his wife being gangbanged by a group of black guys.
He and his wife have already discussed his desire to watch her being gangbanged and she is really excited about doing it. This cuckold husband's question is: "Where do I find black men do gangbang my wife?"
While most would think about hanging out in bars, the best and easiest solution is to search the Memphis swinger personals ads. We've heard from a number of wife swappers in the last few days and we will be posting their submissions shortly.
The questions we are getting about swinging and wife swapping are very interesting and we will try to answer them all. Among those questions are always several about the sex personals at backpage.com and Craigslist.com. Our opinions have not changed a single bit after years of testing. Backpage and Craigslist should be avoided at all costs for a number of reasons.
Among those reasons are safety. There are scams galore! Why in the world would you trust your safety to unverified ads? That's just insanity. You never know what kind of creeps you are actually dealing with when responding to personals on backpage and Craiglist. At the very least you could be scammed out of money. Even worse? Well, we don't even want to think about that.
Not nearly as important, but still very important: We have found Craigslist and backpage to be almost a complete waste of time when it comes to actually meeting swinger couples and singles for no strings attached sex. The bottom line: If you are serious about finding no strings sex, swinger couples, BBW and cougars for sex, avoid backpage and Craigslist!
We just recently read a real disaster story about a Pittsburgh swinger couple who tried their luck on those sites and, unfortunately, they won't be swinging with other wife swappers. Not in this lifetime anyway. They were scared away from adult dating completely. If they had known better, they would have known where to find real Pittsburgh swingers and saved themselves a lot of pain and agony. If you go to CNN you can probably do a quick search and find their story. You'll see a perfect example of why you need to use tried and true sex personals.
It might come as a surprise, but stories like that are also very common with gays and lesbians looking for sex by using online personals. Although tragic stories among those groups seem to result from meeting people for sex on Facebook. Looking for sex on Facebook has never really shown too be dangerous, but it tests highly on our scale for wasting your time. It seems there are a lot of people who say they are looking for swinger sex on Facebook, but what most of them want to do is just talk about it. When it comes to actually meeting, you almost never hear from them again. We do not recommend looking for sex on Facebook.
Another scam that you should be aware of are swinger parties and other types of no strings sex events that are announced on backpage, Craiglist and Facebook.
Be very careful with these as there are several that are used to blackmail people using hidden cameras.
It has been done time and time again.
We cannot emphasize it enough: The best way to meet people for no strings sex online is to use reputable sites for swinger personal ads and sex personals.
We just got an interesting email from a woman named Haley in Cincinnati, who asks: "How does a single woman get into swinging? I am a horny BBW and I want a man in my life. Where do BBW find local sex partners?"
Can the swinger lifestyle wreck a marriage? It's not likely because both partners agree to try adult dating in the first place. That means they have a very strong bond and something like harmless casual sex and no strings sex can hardly ruin a solid marriage.
If fact, we have never heard of it happening.
Couples with weak marriages who get into adult dating on the other hand are probably heading for disaster. If there is aleady a level of mistrust, wife swapping and swinging is not the answer.
It never has been and it never will be.
We've heard more than a few stories of couples heading to Las Vegas for a wild weekend and ending up at a swinger party, only to have it blow up in their face the next day.
This is one of those situations that are unpredictable and usually there is alcohol involved.
We cannot stress it enough. Swinging and wife swapping must be discussed in advance.